On 8/9/2010
I had an appointment with gynea clinic.it all started with my irregular period that is since February this year.
so i had my 1st appointment with specialist on that day,and the doc has scan and doing a routine examination on me.
At the end,my doc confirm me after the scan and diagnose me i had PCO(polycystic ovarian cyst) and my both ovaries effected, which i dont really surprise acctually becoz as a med staff i've done my own research about my irregularity of my period online.so thats it!
some said its really difficult to get pregnant if u had PCOS.
And every married couple of cause really wanted a baby soon.but for me at that time,i just told my hubby about my condition.Thanks God that im married a great husband.He said he will wait and if so,we can do adoption.but i really know what deep inside his heart a big hole there same as mine.Start from that day,i told my husband to pray.praying for miracle to happen.And he did and every night he prayed.
After that day,doc prescribed me OCP-oral contraceptive pills DIANE 3.5mg to regular my hormone and period and Metformin to reduce my weight(over weight lo..hehe)..so the 1st OCP i took is on the 8/9/10 .I took it regullary..except 1 day i missed 1 pill.i just took the pill at any time.not a same time everyday.
I had a terrible feeling after taking OCP and metformin.i had a tender breast, bad nausea,sensitive nose-cant smell my own house.i will vomit.my feeling said maybe it just the effect of OCP and metformin.which i just ignored it..
Until 27/10/10 my 1st cycle of DIANE finish,but the effect of it still persist.and worsen.i supose to get period at this date but not any spotting or bleed came out.but i just wait for another day to bleed.
On 28/9/10 @ 1am while watching Gulliana & Bill series about how difficult they're want to be a parent.so i had this funny feeling,maybe why cant i do my on UPT.so i got up from my sofa and heading to toilet.And wait for 5 minute for the UPT result to appear.
SURPRISING!! the result was POSITIVE!
I cant believe myself,still sitting on toilet bowl,rubbing my eyes several time.I ran toward my cousin that at 1am already in deep sleep.I woke her up to see my UPT..she still in mamai condition.and said its POSITIVE!! wow!! i on the top of the world!! my cousin slept again after that,but the excitement and overwhelm feeling that day make my day longer than ever.cant wait to told my husband tomorow!!
So the next morning,i had my UPT test again..and the result still the same.
But im worried,when is my LMP(last menstural period) ? maybe its on 16/8-i got spotting at that day.
I told my husband and he is the happiest man in the world i think on that day!
Oh Lord! im hoping for miracle from You..hope my baby is fine.Its really worrying me.
so i decided to do ultrasound in private clinic. But the Doc in the clinic said,according to my scan,maybe my baby had 50-50% growing normal or not growing at all.because the effect of the OCP.
Only God know hows my feeling at that time. I just hold my tear to fall. My heart keep on praying and asking God,why this happen to me??why this time??why im on OCP i get pregnant?so this question keep playing in my head.
But i dont blame Him..because i know its maybe some of His plan. I keep on praying until i reach home,seeing my husband face my heart felt like stop beating.How do i want to tell him that any second i will ruined his dream to become a dad..but i have to tell him.
With my tears pouring down like rain,i've told him everything.
He was shocked and speechless.I saw his tear falling down to his cheek.its the first time i saw his tear!He said maybe it wasnt real,I shown him our baby ultrasound pic. He just stare at it for a long time. felt like i want to scream,but i have to be strong for him.Then he kiss my tummy and i think he cried again..oh Lord! i cant bear this anymore. we're very hopeless..i just surrender all to You! if you want to asked back my baby after you gave us..go on Lord..because its all Yours.
I told my hubby not to put so much hope on our baby until i confirm everything with my specialist doc. I ask him to keep on praying for our baby.may everything will be fine.
STILL HOPING FOR MIRACLE
Yesterday,5/10/10
I had met my specialist doc and she said she will scan me.
she told me that my baby was fine and the OCP will have no effect on my fetous.
she scan me and inform me im 5 weeks pregnant and its to early now to see the baby.
First of all,all i can said is ALLELUIA TO THE LORD!!!! My heart shouting for joy! and i swear to my self and to Him i surrender all to You our baby life from the 1st heart beat of his/her life begin..he/she will forever Yours!!Amen!
i've told my hubby and he couldnt believe it until i've shown our baby scan pic..
AMEN!
p/s:KEEP ON STANDING STILL IN GOD,NO MATTER WHAT HE HAS TESTED US.BECAUSE HE JUST WANT TO SEE HOW WE CAN HANDLE WITH HIS TEST AND STILL LOOKING FOR HIM TO DO SOME MAGIC ON US!
